Triumvria

The First Age

The first age of Quisowar began with darkness, as the Red King rose to power. The King's reign was marked with chaos, amorality, and cruelty. None dared challenge him, until a humble dairy farmer named Tobin Bodrick convinced a few villages near Bedout to rise up. Tobin found an unlikely band of allies: a noble tribe of lesbian warrior centaurs rose out of the South and rode to his aid, turning the tables in his favor. The Red King was defeated, but not before a dire prophecy was issued: so long as the line of Tobin sat on the throne, the land would be safe. But if ever the line was broken, the Red King would rise again. Thus began the line of Tobin, renamed Elathar as he took his crown.

Also during the First Age, the elven king experienced a decline. Led by Sera Madriagh of the Dolarann house, the elves remained neutral in the fight against the Red King, choosing instead to focus on heightening their powers and beauty. Towards the latter, they employed the ingenuity of the gnomes to develop cosmetic magic. The magic backfired and horribly disfigured them. Outraged, Sera Madriagh drove the gnomish clans from southern Quisowar; many fled to Kalavere, the southernmost continent, and the isle of Tudovak. Seeing that the elves were diminished in power, King Tobin punished them for their cowardice and reduced the elven kingdom of Eratharal to a vassal state led not by a ruled but a council formed of the twelve noble houses.

(Cards drawn: The Devil himself, Gloryholes, Doin' it in the butt, Not wearing pants, A defective condom, Spontaneous human combustion, Firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog, Repression, Drowning the kids in the bathtub, Grave robbing, The milkman, Men, Punching a congressman in the face, The gays, A tribe of warrior women, Centaurs, Overcompensating, and Horrifying laser hair removal accidents.)

The second Age

During the reign of King Tobin Elathar III, a volcano erupted near the capital of Al-Elathar, damaging many parts of the city. By royal decree of King Tobin Elathar IV, the capital was moved to Medouj. Thus began the second age of Quisowar. The country flourished, and Quisowar became known for its food, music, and technological and magical advancements.

Such peace was not meant to last, and during the reign of Tobin Elathar VII, a new threat arose from Kalavere: a warforged uprising led by an overlord known only as Crepitus. The warforged were created to be a servant race to the dwarves and gnomes, but rose up in terrible violence and are now bent on destroying all 'biologics.' Through a combination of military acumen and sound trade decisions, the successive kings of Tobin's line have been able to fend off the threat of Crepitus and maintain peace.

Then: disaster. Eight years ago, a fire struck Sarawar, the floating domain of the Elathar line, killing the crown prince Tobin IX just before he was to take the throne. The queen also perished in the attack, which was blamed on the half-orcs of Tudovak. King Tobin VIII, who had entrusted the elves with the task of watching over Tudovak, now commanded a more permanent solution. The elves responded by attempting to freeze the entire island and kill every half-orc living there. However, one elven mage refused to take part, disrupting the spell and preventing the massacre.

Eight years have passed and the second son of Tobin VIII, Prince Reyamaud, is about to come of age and take his father's place on the throne...

(Cards drawn: Throwing a virgin in a volcano, A zesty breakfast burrito, Figgy pudding, A balanced breakfast, The penny whistle solo from "My Heart Will Go On," Science, Magnets, MechaHitler, Permanent orgasm face disorder, Dead babies, A murder most foul, Child abuse, A mime having a stroke, A robust mongoloid.)